Nigerian Pastor Deborah recently sparked a heated debate online with her blunt advice to women about relationships and traditional marriage customs.
In a viral video, she passionately addressed the importance of bride price in African culture and criticised women who live with men who haven’t fulfilled this customary obligation.
“Don’t live with a man that has not paid your bride price. You are not a house girl,” Pastor Deborah began, her voice filled with conviction.
She went on to detail the consequences of cohabiting without the formalities of bride price, equating it to being a mere domestic worker.
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“If you pack your bag and go stay with a man that has not paid your bride price, you are a house girl, a housekeeper,” she emphasised.
The pastor painted a vivid picture of the potential pitfalls of such arrangements.
“You cook, you wash clothes, and then he goes on to marry a second wife. You bear children for him, you cook. If you are doing this, it’s a mistake, and there is more time to correct it,” she urged, appealing to women’s sense of self-worth and dignity.
Pastor Deborah’s message was clear: women should not settle for less than they deserve.
“If you are still doing that, go home now, pack your bags, and leave that man. If he says he loves you, he should do the right thing,” she insisted.
Her tone softened slightly as she acknowledged the financial challenges some men might face.
“It’s not just about money. Knowing your parents is almost free, he pays just a token if he doesn’t have money to host a big lobola event.”
She encouraged women to demand respect and proper recognition from their partners. “He can just go meet your parents, and there is no way it will be complicated because you would have already borne him children. Do you want to put yourself through that?”
Pastor Deborah’s rhetorical question underscored the emotional and cultural stakes involved.
Her video has ignited discussions on social media, with many praising her for speaking out on a sensitive topic.
Others, however, have debated the relevance of bride price in modern relationships. Regardless of differing opinions, Pastor Deborah’s message has resonated widely, challenging women to reassess their relationships and urging men to honor traditional practices.
Watch the full video below and join the conversation.
