Dear amai I hope you are well. I am a 27-year-old mother to two kids aged 7 and 5. My husband is 29 and he is the last born in his family. We reside at their rural home with my in-laws even though we have our own place and are gainfully employed. I am a nurse and he is a teacher. Three weeks ago, my husband’s sister and her family came over to see the parents and check up on us as well. My daughter asked if she could go with them to Harare to play with their children. I said no because they did not respond and it was awkward.
My husband did not sense anything and pushed that they go with her. To cut a long story short my sister in-law’s maid sent a message asking me to come and pick the child up because she was being ill cared for. We drove to Harare the following day, when we arrived our daughter was with the maid. The whole family had gone out. I called my sister-in-law to ask if we could take our child with us. To my surprise, she just said ok and hung up. There was a bad exchange of words between my husband and me on our way back. There is a lot of tension. How do I break the ice?
Response
I am well, and thank you so much for reaching out to me. I am sorry this ended up affecting you and your spouse. In my view, you failed to put your foot down. In all fairness, a 5-year-old child cannot over rule you. It is of no consequence that she cried and asked to go with the visitors. This was so unexpected. You imposed her on the visitors that is why they did not respond when she asked to go with them. Your sister-in-law was wrong if she mistreated the child, we do not know whether it is true or not. I do not understand why the maid ended up communicating with you secretly. The way your sister-in-law replied to your request was rather weird and impolite.
I suggest you have a candid talk with your husband and clear the air. I wish you all the best.
