Dear amai I am a lady aged 21, I have a serious issue that I need resolved. When I was 19 I dated this guy and really fell for him. We were intimate and he promised to marry me. He then went to South Africa and we communicated for a while until he just went quiet. I did not know that he had lost his phone and so I tried to get in touch with him for seven months until I gave up on it. I then started seeing another guy in February but I was not really as interested in him as I had been with my old flame. It just so happened that this guy from South Africa came in back in June and started looking for me door to door in my old neighbourhood not knowing that we had moved.
He finally found me but I told him I was now with someone else. I told my current boyfriend what had happened and how I still loved my old flame. He was jealous and forced himself on to me in July of this year. Now I feel sick, I think I’m pregnant. He says that he knows I’m pregnant and he did it intentionally. He will never let me go. I risk losing my job because I’m pregnant and I am the breadwinner. I work as a maid. I also do not want to be responsible for tarnishing my parent’s good name.
Response
Dear writer thank you for writing in. You cannot just date someone for a few solid years before he goes to South Africa and then he doesn’t have the slightest clue of how to contact you after his phone is stolen. How can you just believe such a story? If he really wanted to get in touch with you he had so many options at his disposal. He could have opted for a public phone or just asked someone close you to help him contact you. He could have even used the social media route.
He did not try as hard as you, why? Seven months is a long time. After this you fell in love with a guy you had no feelings for, again I ask why? This is not a game. You truly need to commit because it involves emotions and you can’t play with that. You should put yourself in this guy’s shoes how would you feel if someone did this to you? Your story is stranger than fiction. The guy who ignored you for seven months jumped onto the scene and searched for you door to door.
Vasikana tipeiwo ma serious this does not add up at all. After the South Africa guy came in June you felt that the sparks were still there so what were you still doing with the other guy in July? You are confused it seems you really don’t know what you want. I urge you to go for a pregnancy test. Don’t treat these guys like kids. In my view these guys do not trust you anymore because of what you told them. You knew you were a bread winner but your priorities were upside down. Don’t force yourself into a loveless marriage because it won’t last a life time. If this new guy really did rape you he must be brought to book. Report him to the authorities.
