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Goat Heist Trial Goes Awry: Bad Samosa Brings Justice to a Standstill

June 18, 2025
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Goat Heist Trial Goes Awry: Bad Samosa Brings Justice to a Standstill

In a shocking turn of events, the trial of Mike Chimombe and Moses Mpofu, accused of stealing a gazillion goats (or $7 million worth, allegedly), has been postponed… again! This time, it’s not because the defendants suddenly grew wings and flew away (although, that would’ve been cool). Nope, the real reason is that one of the assessors ate a bad samosa and is currently worshiping the porcelain throne.

Justice Pisirayi Kwenda was like, “Okay, let’s reschedule for June 30, because, you know, assessor’s stomach issues are a real thing.” Both the prosecution and defense were all, “Sure thing, Your Honor, we’ll just add it to the long list of delays.”

Meanwhile, the real drama is brewing over a document – the original goats supply tender document, to be precise. The defense is all, “No way, Your Honor, that’s like introducing a surprise plot twist in a telenovela!” While the prosecution is like, “But, Your Honor, it’s the smoking gun… or should I say, the baah-ing gun?”

The judge’s ruling on this matter will determine the trial’s trajectory. Will the document be admitted? Will the fifth State witness get to do the cha cha slide on the stand? Stay tuned to find out!

end//..

Tags: Mike Chimombe and Moses Mpofu

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