In contemporary society, the expectations placed on women regarding childbirth can often be overwhelming, particularly in cultures with longstanding traditions surrounding gender.
Socialite Chikadibia Sandra Ezerime took to Facebook to share her personal struggle with the societal pressure she faces to bear a male child, a reflection of the archaic beliefs that still persist in many communities, particularly among the Igbo people of Nigeria.
Sandra, a devoted mother of two beautiful girls, recounted her experiences of being bombarded by relatives and even close friends insisting that her journey through motherhood remains incomplete without a son. These pressures stem not just from personal desires but from deeply ingrained cultural norms that value male heirs above all else.
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In her candid post, she shared a screenshot where she had blocked a friend who made an insensitive comment: “As an Igbo woman, you should have a male child.” Sandra explained how, after the birth of her youngest daughter, she faced calls from relatives expressing their disappointment. “After I gave birth to my ‘last born,’ some relatives called and said, ‘Chi, you know you have to give us a son…’” she recalled. Her frustration was palpable; she ended the call with a promise to her mother that she would be less cordial in future conversations if this pressure continued.
Things reached a breaking point when a close friend told her in a chat, “Whoever doesn’t have a son can’t be done giving birth.” That comment prompted Sandra to reevaluate their friendship and respond with a reminder of boundaries. To add insult to injury, this same friend had lamented that she wished Sandra’s second child had been a boy prior to congratulating her on the birth. “I don’t understand why people think it’s okay to make such careless remarks simply because we’re close,” Sandra expressed. “You cross boundaries unprovoked, and it’s exhausting.”
Fortunately, Sandra has a supportive partner who stands by her side through the onslaught of societal expectations. She expressed her appreciation for her husband’s stance on the matter, noting how they had mutually agreed on their family size before marriage. He actively counters the unsolicited opinions of friends and relatives who express faux concern over the absence of a male child. “I love how he tells them to change their archaic mentality,” she wrote. “He reminds them that I need to recover from the trauma of childbirth,” affirming their commitment to prioritizing their well-being and the health of their family above societal pressures.
His sensible approach extends to practical matters as well. “He wisely reminds them that in this current economy, one should only have as many children as they can comfortably care for,” she highlighted, emphasizing how he challenges traditional beliefs about the value of a girl child. In doing so, he stands as a beacon of support, helping to unveil the importance of daughters and debunking the myth that only sons carry the legacy or honor of a family.
In her concluding thoughts, Sandra boldly declared that any decision regarding the possibility of a third child rests solely with her and her husband, not with the unsolicited opinions of others. “Who told these people that the third child will even be a boy? Should I keep having children until I finally have a son?” she asked, fiercely calling out the insensitivity and ignorance prevalent in her community.
Chikadibia Sandra Ezerime’s story is a powerful reminder of the cultural pressures that many women face and the need for a collective shift in attitudes toward gender. As she continues to raise her daughters with love and pride, her voice can serve as an inspiration for others navigating similar trials—proving that a family’s worth is not dictated by the gender of its children but rather by the love, support, and understanding shared among its members.
