With good reason, the phrase “sleep divorce” has entered common usage in recent years. Couples who decide to sleep in different rooms or beds are increasingly adopting this idea as a way to enhance their quality of sleep and, surprisingly, their marital pleasure.
Interest in sleep divorce has risen since 2021, from 17% to a startling 33% in 2024, according to Google Trends. This tendency, rather from portending marital problems, points to a rising realization that putting each person’s sleep requirements first might actually improve relationships.
Sleep divorce may sound dramatic, but it actually represents a big change in how couples think about their health and sleep. Sharing a bed isn’t always the best option for healthy sleep, as many couples are realizing.
Common disruptions — like snoring, bed hogging and differing schedules — often leave partners feeling groggy and irritable.
A recent survey by MattressNextDay revealed some eye-opening statistics about sleep disturbances in relationships:
- 47% of people are most annoyed by their partner’s snoring.
- 24% complain about bed hogging or duvet stealing.
- 12% cite mismatched alarm schedules as a major source of frustration.
With these irritations in mind, many couples are finding that the simple solution of sleeping apart can lead to better rest and a more harmonious relationship.
Relationship experts are increasingly supportive of the sleep divorce trend. Eimear Draper, a dating coach and founder of Kindling Dating, alludes to the fact that choosing to sleep separately doesn’t have to diminish intimacy. In fact, it can enhance it.
Draper noted: “As long as there is open communication and both sides are on board with the idea of sleeping separately, I think it can work nicely.
“If both people are getting a good night’s sleep, they are likely to be more patient and experience less frayed tempers, which benefits the relationship.”
However, she also advised that couples with children need to carefully consider how separate sleeping arrangements might impact their dynamics.
“If one partner bears the brunt of disrupted sleep from kids, it could create tension,” she added. Therefore, maintaining good communication is crucial to ensure that both partners feel connected and supported.
The stigma surrounding sleep divorce is fading, thanks in part to many high-profile couples who openly discuss their sleep arrangements as a means of prioritising health rather than a sign of issues in their relationship.
According to the MattressNextDay survey, 67% of couples worry about sharing a bed with a new partner, yet those in long-term relationships often feel more secure when their individual sleep needs are respected.
This shift in perception highlights that sleeping separately is increasingly viewed as a proactive choice.
By recognising their unique sleep preferences, couples can take important steps toward improving both their physical and mental health.
Tips for making sleep divorce work
For couples contemplating separate sleeping arrangements, experts suggest the following strategies:
Open communication: Frame the decision as a mutual choice aimed at enhancing health and wellbeing, rather than a sign of emotional distance.
Create shared moments: Set aside quality time for connection and intimacy before bed to maintain closeness, such as watching a show together or having a late-night chat.
Design a sleep sanctuary: Make both sleeping spaces comfortable and inviting. This way, neither partner feels neglected or left out.
Revisit as needed: What works now might not work forever. Stay flexible and open to adapting your sleeping arrangements as circumstances change.
Prioritising sleep for a happier relationship
As the interest in sleep divorce continues to rise, couples are redefining what it means to share a life together. The growing acceptance of this practice shows that sleeping apart doesn’t mean growing apart.
Instead, it can lead to a deeper understanding of each partner’s needs and a more satisfying relationship overall.
